Flipping Your Lid

We all have moments when we don’t act our best. Daniel Siegel, in Parenting from the Inside Out, calls this "flipping our lids"—when we react impulsively instead of thinking rationally. Siegel uses a closed fist to illustrate how the brain works. The palm represents the brainstem, which controls fight/flight/freeze responses. The thumb inside the palm represents the midbrain (amygdala), where memories and emotions tied to past fears and insecurities are stored. When you fold your fingers over your thumb to form a fist, it represents the cortex, where rational thinking and emotional control occur.

When we’re upset, we "flip our lid"—our fingers open, exposing the midbrain—and we act from irrational emotions rather than logic. At St. James, we use this model to help both staff and students understand how to regain control of our rational selves.

For more insights from Dan Siegel, watch this video: link